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It is God who will give you the ability to forgive
The story of Joseph is often used as an example by many pastors to teach on forgiveness. The usual statement would be — Joseph was able to forgive, that is why God could bless him.
If you have suffered immense abuse and injustice, especially from childhood, especially when the things that people did to you had altered your life drastically and you suffered for years or are still suffering as a result of the evil deeds, you will understand that it is not so simple to forgive. The pain is excruciating and it haunt you all the time. You could not stop it even though you wish you could forgive to set yourself free.
Look at Genesis 42:24, Joseph wept when he heard what his brothers said in Genesis 42:21. The pain was excruciating. Not many people experienced and hence could understand this level of pain. Many teachers who taught about forgiveness had probably experienced some events where people wronged them. So they thought that simple statements such as “forgive because God has forgiven you” would help someone out of the bondage of unforgiveness. Even worse, people would quote what Jesus taught — if you do not forgive, so will your Father in heaven not forgive you.
My child, we must recognise that when our LORD Jesus said that statement Matthew 18:34-35, He used the parable of the unforgiving servant. It was a scenario where that person had already been set free and had the power to harm someone. For people who suffered immense pain for years, whose life had been destroyed, our LORD is not asking you to do the impossible, to disregard your pain. In fact, our LORD Jesus said that blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of God. The entire sermon on the Beatitudes (Matthew 5:2-12) was what our LORD Jesus said to assure those who are suffering or had suffered injustice, that great is your reward, not just on earth but also in eternity, in heaven. Know that when you are suffering, Jesus felt every pain that you are going through and His heart is for you. He is not expecting you to be super robots to have no feelings. He is saying, He is with you, right now, feeling every pain you feel and He promised that great is your reward ahead of you.
So, do not take things into your own hands, do not take revenge, let the LORD fight for you so you do not lose your reward.
Do you pray for your enemies?
My child, understand this, God knows your pain. Our LORD Jesus came as a man, lived on earth for 33 years, suffered all kinds of accusations, injustice and finally death. He understands every pain you are going through.
However, not every counsellor you meet understand what is excruciating mental and emotional pain. Some christian counsellors may even tell you to pray for your enemies while you are crying. That is not how God treats you. When our LORD Jesus saw Mary and Martha crying, eventhough He knew He was going to raise Lazarus in the next few minutes, He wept, He felt what the people felt. We have a God who fight for His people(Exodus 14:14, Numbers 12:5-8), not a God who expects us to do the impossible. We have a God who delights in bringing justice and loving kindness to the earth (Jeremiah 9:24).
Hence, when you are hurting, know that our LORD is right here with you, and He promises that He will bring justice and He will avenge you. Great is your reward. Do not take things into your own hands, do not take revenge.
Now, when the judgement comes on your enemies, then that is when you should pray for your enemy, just like what Job (Job 42:8) and Moses (Numbers 12:13) did.
Know this truth, my child, that God is a God of justice. He will judge your enemies of His people. When you are a believer of Jesus Christ, you are the true children of Abraham (Galatians 3:29) and all the promises to Abraham are yours. One of the promises God made to Abraham is that cursed are those who treat you with contempt. So, cry to the LORD, ask Him to fight for you, put complete trust in Him that He will fight for you and will bring justice. Above all, know that the LORD loves you and He is with you, He feels every of your tear drops (Psalms 56:8).
How to forgive, how to be set free from unforgiveness?
We all want to forgive because when we do not, we continue to feel the pain and we are prisoners of unforgiveness. However, it is not something we say we want and we can, the pain haunt us. So how do we forgive?
Do not try to be super human, to obey the law, to tell yourself to forgive and pray for your enemies. Instead, focus on the truth and the promises of God that He is a God of justice and He will judge those who have treated you with contempt. You can even pray to God to punish your enemies, like what David did (Psalms 109). Read Psalms 18:18,41, 37:6-8 the confidence that David had in the LORD to vindicate him. When you keep your mind focusing on God’s justice, you will be set free.
When you are walking through difficult times, you will experience a lot of blessings and miracles from God. Keep giving thanks to Him on all the blessings and miracles that God is doing in your life everyday, every moment. Enjoy the time with God. When such joy overwhelms you, you are freed (Ecclesiastes 5:19-20).
Each time painful memories flood into your mind, tell the LORD this :
“LORD, I have confidence that You will judge my enemies. I leave this piece of past memory into your hands. I thank you that you are replacing such memories with memories of all the good you are doing in my life. I believe you have great plans for me to restore me to higher positions than ever before. My hopes are in You, my LORD. There are exceedingly great rewards in heaven for me. Thank you, LORD. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”
Are you wondering…
How to become a believer?
You can be a believer simply by saying this prayer:
Dear God, thank you for so wonderfully make me and thank you for sending your Son, LORD Jesus to die for me so that I can have the blessed life that you intended for me — a life of leadership and fruitfulness. Now I believe and accept Jesus as my LORD and Saviour. I believe that from this time forth, I am a new creation, I am born again and I have the eternal life that Jesus came to give me. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
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